You're so nebulous sometimes
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
