There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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