at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.