she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
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The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
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Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?