I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
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She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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