Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I smell like Dick and happiness
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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