Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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