so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
