Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Found your dick twin last night
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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