I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize