They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
