i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
