Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she told me i tasted like america
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
