were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
