I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
