Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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