so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize