I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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