Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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