you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
