Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
