Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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