There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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