I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I didn't notice because vodka
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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