Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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