wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
