Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I enjoy the company of your penis
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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