i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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