At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
