I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
