My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
