she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize