Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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