Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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