You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It was like getting head from an anaconda
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
