It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize