dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
