is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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