I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
