someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
