hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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