i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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