Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
