He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
