So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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