Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
