I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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