Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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