Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
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I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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