That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
false alarm. still invincible.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
