So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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