Christians are straight up FREAKS
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
