there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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