Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize