i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
