if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
