So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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