$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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