I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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