I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
