well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
